Jolly Rancher Fruit Chews

These were picked up in Truro while I was down Cornwall visiting the missus from a small sweet shop by the cathedral

Now, unfortunately I didn't get a single apple on in the box I bought. What the hell?!?!
But ah well, Apple isn't my favourite flavour ever
But other than apple, the flavours are cherry, watermelon and red raspberry
No, just kidding, it's blue raspberry
I've had various Jolly Rancher sweets before, so I know they're pretty decent
I also have a bag of hard ones, but they'll be reviewed some other day

So let's start with the watermelon flavour. It's in a pale-ish pink wrapper and the chew itself is a funny pink-ish-slightly-orange colour. It's fairly sticker and there's always remnants of the wrapper stuck to it.This flavour is pretty sweet. It does't taste like what I remember watermelon tastes like (I haven't had it in a long time), but it's a nice flavour. Kind of refreshing and cool, not too hard on the ol' taste buds. The texture is fairly soft and when you chew, you accumulate a fair bit of juice in your mouth.

Then onto the blue raspberry. This one's in a blue wrapper and is blue itself (what a surprise). The taste is pretty strong and has a slight tang to it, in my opinion. It's the usual blue raspberry flavour but a bit stronger

And now for the cherry, my favourite Jolly Rancher flavour. I love these. It's in a deep red wrapper and so it the sweet. These have an amazing flavour. It's not the same cherry flavour a everything else out there. It reminds me of those cheapo round lollipops you can get. It definitely stands out from most other cherry things. Maybe I'll try to get the drink one day....

The box is also nice. There's a little flap on the back which allow you to close the box and not have the top pop open. That's pretty handy

But overall (besides the apple flavour), if you like bold, slap in the face flavours, and prefer to chew things than have sugar floating around your mouth for minutes forming cavities, I can't recommend these enough. I think they're brilliant and will probably get some more at some point

Nine out of ten!

Charleston Chew

This was picked up on my trip into town the other day in a sweet shop which has a small American section

Well, well, well.... It's artificially flavoured! :o
What a surprise!
You can smell the vanilla through the pack. It's a nice smell

So this is nougat covered in chocolate. Let's give it a go

The chocolate taste is really nice and it's soft and gooey on the inside. Really soft. Usually nougat nougat needs a bit of chewing before it softens up, but this is almost marshmallow like. It's not too thickly covered in chocolate, it's just about right. Imagine a milky way with a bit more chew to the inside
Pretty nice

Eight out of ten! 8D

Herr's Jalapeño Popper Cheese Curls

So now I'm down to the last savoury thing from my shipment from the Stateside Candy Co. :(
These sound really good. Jalapeños - good, cheese - good, crisps - good
What could make for a better recipe?

I've tried making my own jalapeño poppers before, and they're awesome!
I might have to make more one day....

These smells pretty darn good. Let's hope they taste just the same
They taste kind of like a spicy version of Dairylea. The flavour's not a intense as the other pack I've had, but it's a much nicer taste. There's the right amount of spice to leave a tingle on your tongue and the cheese isn't overpowering. Yeh, these are really nice :D
I think I'm gonna have to order some more soon

Therefore, I shall award them with my highest rating so far! Nine out of ten! :D

jolly Rancher Watermelon Drink

Today I've got a nice, big bottle of soderp, I mean soda, on my desk
Here's a picture....

It's an awesome bright red colour (Chemicals maybe?)
It's 591ml which seems like bit of an odd amount for a bottle, but America still uses the imperial system (We do with some things, but not all)
I've had Jolly Rancher sweets before, and they're really nice. I'm hoping this is the same :D
It best still be fizzy....
Huzzah! It is!

MMMM.... It smells so artificial! 8D
But a nice artificial :3

Let's give it a go....
It's pretty sweet, but the flavour is kind of week. If I remember correctly, the sweets had a tang to them? This doesn't. The flavour's not as strong as the sweets either.
It's too sweet for my liking

I don't think I'll be buying this again, but I might try the other flavours available
Rating time! :o
I tinik I'll give it a 5 out of ten ;)

Herr's Buffalo Blue Cheese

So here I am sat at the computer again with yet another bag of American goodness! :o
Herr's Buffalo Blue Cheese flavour cheese curls!

On the top it says "Over baked with real cheese!", but being American
, it's most likely the most minuscule amount of cheese you cold imagine.
Well, would you have ever thought of it?! Cheese is actually high up on the ingredients :o
I've only ever tried blue cheese once when I was a lot younger, but I've had buffalo wings\buffalo sauce a few times. I have a bottle of the sauce in my drawer as we speak.
Going by the packet, these look akin to Wotsits here in the UK
Let's pop this bad boy open and give them a whirl....

WOW! These are massive! They're bigger than my little finger, haha
They smell kind of nasty, that strong, sour smell some cheese have. I'm assuming that's what blue cheese smells like
Mm... They're fairly spicy and you can taste the cheese flavour pretty well. They melt really easily in my mouth leaving a pleasant tingle from the spice behind. The flavour is pretty intense, the crisps themselves are generously covered in flavouring. The cheese is really strong with a fairly sour taste and kicks your tongue into submission, but it gets a bit too much after a few.
There's not too many in the pack, but I guess that's made up for with the size and the intense flavour

Overall these are pretty damn good. Well done, America! Have a sticker *Gives a sticker*
I want to give them a nine out of ten, but the cheese overpowers the buffalo taste a bit more. I'll be awkward and award them eight and a half out of ten ;)

Chex Mix

Another American snack! :o
This time it's Chex Mix

Why's it say Brand Snack underneath the logo?

Apparently a "bag of interesting" according to the back. Guess what else the back says? Yup, artificial crap again! Oh, how I love chemicals! :3
I got these for 15p and they're about a fortnight out of date, but hey, I'm not fussy. All the chemicals shall stop any degradation! 8D

These look kind of like an elaborate version of Cheese Savouries which we can get in this country pretty cheap.
Oh, go on then, let's open them up....
Ugh, they smell nasty.... Is that a Shreddie in there? Maybe these have been knitted by nanas too. But I guess that's better than the jumper with a reindeer on with the big, sticky out, bobbly, red nose you get every year for Christmas that you'll only wear when you go round and wear those stupid little paper hats which tear at the slightest whisper of air. There's also a ring, a window, a triangle and some wiggly thing. The circle and window shape look like the same type of thing as a pretzel. The triangles are intensely orange compared to the others.
I suppose it's time to try them, eh?
The window.... No cheese flavour at all, just a pretzel thing. And the same for the ring. How about the wiggly thing? Every so slightly cheesy, barely noticeable. Now for the shreddie. Slightly more flavour, but not really cheese flavoured. There's a slightly nutty taste But nicer than the others so far. Now for the triangle. These look like they've beaten all the other shapes into submission so it can steal their flavour. Hmm, they must've got arrested and had the flavour confiscated because there's still not a lot
Oh, hang on, a super flavour saturated shreddie... Ach! That's not a nice taste. A really funny, off-tasting "cheese" flavour.
The pretzel pieces taste kind of like breakfast cereal.
Cheddar cheese is the only cheese-looking ingredient on the list and it's 3rd from last. I don't know about the US, but I think in the UK, the ingredients are listed from most to least. If it's the same other the pond, then I'm not too sure how they can pass these as "cheddar" flavour. It should say "funny chemical, nasty fake cheese flavour" on the pack.
The range of shapes are a really good idea, there's different textures and tastes to the actual pieces, but the cheese flavouring.... No..... It's not too nice, to be honest. If the flavouring was decent, then I'd give these a maximum of 7 or 8 of ten, but other than that, I'll give them a 4

America, you ain't got nowt on our cheese savouries, bitch!

Combos Jalapeño Cheddar Tortilla

While I'm waiting for the Simpsons to start on channel 4, I thought I'd do another review. Yet another product from the Stateside Candy Co
Here we go....

I'm not entirely too sure what to expect from these, but the flavour sounded good, hence why I bought them. Only 59p ;)
So let's open them up....
But first, a quick look on the back, and guess what? Yup.... There's artificial flavourings in them (Surely it's easy enough to make cheese and chilli flavour?)

Anywho, as soon as I open the bag, I can smell them. It smells cheesy and chilli-ish. That's a good sign. They look like cylindrical biscuity\crackery things with some sort of soft cheese stuff in the middle and some salt sprinkled on top (is it salt? It better not be dandruff....)
Here's a picture of them

Tasting time! :o My favourite part....
Hmmm... Not the strongest flavour in the world, but a nice one. I can't really taste any chilli, but I can feel the slightest kick of spice in the back of my mouth and throat. They taste familiar. Sort of like Tuc sandwiches except with a kick, here's a picture of them

There's not a great deal in the pack, maybe 18 or 19 and they're about half the length of a double A battery.
If I order from this site again and these are at the same price, I'd definitely buy them again

As I'm eating these, the spice I'm feeling in the back of my throat is getting stronger with each one

But overall, pretty nice, shame about the weak chilli flavour, but well worth checking out ;)

A seven and a half out of ten ;)

Yoohoo Chocolate Drink

What's better to have on a nice, sunny day than a cool, ice cold can of foreign drink that you've never heard of?
That's right, a bucket of KFC to go with it.
Oh, and some jungle being blasted out of some speakers
But unfortunately, I'm lazy and I can't be bothered to walk that far or get the bus

I saw this under "Soda" on the Stateside Candy Co's website. I'm not too sure what this is exactly. Is it a milkshake? Is it chocolate water? There's no milk in the ingredients, but there's things like whey and dried milk
I'm not too sure what to expect, to be honest....
99% fat free and 99% caffeine free. Darn! That's no good, is it?

Right then, let's crack it open. It smells nice, just like any old chocolate milkshake, kind of creamy. I'm gonna go get a glass. It doesn't feel right drinking milkshake from a can....
It looks like milkshake, albeit a bit thinner. Let's get on with it and try it....
Wow.... That's nice. Really nice. It's got a creamy taste to it. The chocolate isn't too dark (I can't stand dark chocolate), but it tastes kind of synthetic (but then again, what isn't synthetic in America?), but it's nice nonetheless
In all honesty, I was slightly scared of trying this in fear that it was fizzy (fizzy chocolate-ade? Dafuq?) because it was in the soda category.
Hmm... The after taste isn't as pleasant, but that might be just because I had fish fingers and chips for dinner, so don't let that put you off, haha
There's a few bits floating around the bottom of the cup, but I'm hoping they're just clumps of cocoa powder.
I'm glad I put this in the fridge the other day, I imagine it's not so good warm

I paid £1.20 for this, so I probably won't be getting it again seeing as you can buy ordinary milkshake a lot cheaper, but if you see it, I'd recommend it just to try it ;)

8 out of 10 :o
I think that's the highest rating so far!

Well done, Yoohoo, well done indeed....

Andy Capp's Cheddar Fries!

Hellooooo
Here I have another item from my order from the Stateside Candy Co.
Andy Capp's Cheddar Fries! :o
Here's a picture

There appears to be some sort of cockney\farmer on the pack, haha
There's not a lot interesting on the pack, but wow! Look at the list of ingredients....
Oh, what a surprise. Artificial flavours and colours!
So these are a corn and potato snack, and I'm assuming cheese flavour....

Let's open them up....
It's the usual deal with crisp type things, half a pack only and the rest is air
They smell like generic cheese and onion crisps. So let's try one....
They're pretty easy to bite through, like those salt and vinegar sticks you can get. The flavour's not all that strong, but it's a kind of toasted cheese flavour and slightly herby.
I picked these up for only 20p because they were about a week out of date (at the time of ordering), but I'm not fussy, it's only a week....
Maybe they'd taste a bit stronger before the date, but I don't know....
They have a funny, slightly off-tasting after taste

So let's give them a rating....
I'd give them a 5 out of 10
I probably wouldn't buy them again unless they were dirt cheap. If you see them cheap, give them a go, but otherwise, naaaahhhh, don't bother

Now & Later

So here I am on a really nice, sunny, hot day in England, which happens less than seeing flying pigs, but instead of going outside and soaking up the sun or absorbing vitamin D, I'm sat at my PC eating sweets and writing about them....

So here's something I got from the Stateside Candy Co.
Here's a picture....

It's a nice looking package (That's what she said, haha)
After looking for some clues, I managed to decipher what flavours are to be contained within. Cherry, Blue Raspberry (of course. Because red raspberries don't exist in America) and strawberry. All artificially flavoured (Because otherwise it'd be too healthy, haha).
So I'm assuming this is a berry flavour pack? I don't know if there's any other flavours. Google images comes up with grape, lime and strawberry flavour too. Maybe I'll look for it one day.
On the back it says "Serv. size: 9 pieces, Servings: about 2"
So 18 is about two lots of nine, is it? I thought it was exactly two lots of nine? Maybe they just guessed with the maths?
So anyway, let us open this packet!

Oh, hello.... Inside are three smaller packets. Each packet has 6 of one flavour. This is handy.... I wish other sweets did this. Wouldn't it be great to think "I want this flavour....", open it at a certain end and receive said flavour no matter what? That way you could skip the crappy flavours like lime!

Now to taste test. I'll grab the red one first. Cherry.... I'm imagining these are like Chewits or Starburst. So this is a really nice looking red colour. Doesn't really smell of much, but I can just detect a hint of polish... (No kidding...)
Hmm... It's not the strongest of flavours, has a slight tang to it. It's kind of Dr Pepper-tasting, but with a tad more cherry
It's not too easy to chew, in all honesty. Maybe it'll get easier as I go along
Arrgh! It's getting stuck in my teeth! >.<

So that's the cherry one down, not bad.... I think I'll do strawberry next and save the raspberry for last (Raspberry is one of my favourite fruits)
This one's in a deep magenta-ish colour wrapper. The actual sweet is the same colour as the last one. Smells like that fake strawberry scent you get on those inflatable rubber balls, ya know? Let's pop it in, shall we?
Yes.... It really tastes like strawberries..... NOT! It's similar-ish, but not close enough for me to actually say it's strawberry. If I was given this not being told it was strawberry, I'd be struggling to guess the flavour. It's a nice flavour nevertheless

Now that one has been masticated, ingurgitated, digested, absorbed or whatever, the blue one is calling on me.
Oh, wow. This is a really nice blue colour. It smells kind of funny like the cherry one. The flavour is somewhat weak compared to the other two, but there's a nice little tang to it. But it doesn't have that generic "blue" flavour a lot of "blue raspberry" or blue coloured sweets have. It's slightly different. It's pleasant for my tongue


Overall, they're not that bad. They're a bit hard (It must've been like eating pebbles before then?) and the flavours are strange. Sometimes I wonder if the Americans have even tried fruit before, haha. It says "long lasting chews" on the pack, but that's not true if you actually chew them. I imagine they can last a fair while if you just pop them in and suck it though
I'll give them a six out of ten. If they were a bit softer, then they'd get bumped up a notch to seven

That's it for this review. Maybe I'll write another one later. I have a lot of stuff to get through. Yay! Cavities and malnutrition!

Auf Wiedersehen, meine Freunde!
-Danny

Effervescent Bacon Drink Tabs!

Don't....

Just...



Don't....

Trust me on this one. It seems like a great idea, doesn't it? Who doesn't love bacon.... well, besides vegetarians? But they don't count
Now I love bacon as well as most bacon flavoured things, but these..... Ugh!
Fizzy bacon-ade sounds good, but is something which this product doesn't provide.
This was one of the things I ordered from the Stateside Candy Co.
The basic idea is to drop it in a glass of water, watch it fizz and then enjoy your salty meaty flavoured beverage at the end. But instead all you get is a nice, cold refreshing swig of disappointment.
They need to go back to the drawing board...
So here's what they look like...

 After struggling to take the lid off, I stuck my nose in and gave it a sniff. PHWOAR!!! Rubber gloves, anyone? But a lot of things smell bad but taste good, so I assumed this was a similar thing.

So anyway, I popped one in a glass of water and waited for it to start fizzing. Then I waited some more. And then some more. It never did start to fizz. Instead of waiting until the end of the world for it to dissolve, I attacked it with a spoon and crushed it and stirred it.
It still didn't dissolve, the little bugger. All the crumbled up powder simply floated to the top. It still smelt like a rubber glove, but I went in to have a mouthful. I say mouthful, I really mean a tiny drop because, well, the sight and smell wasn't too pleasing....
That tiny droplet filled my entire mouth with the taste. And wow, it was..... Awful!
It tasted like someone dropped a sweaty rubber glove into a bag of flour and left it in the sun for a while. Honestly, it really did. It made me gag, to be honest. I had to go pour it down the sink.

So, to summarise - Crapcrapcrapcrap
Zero out of ten
Maybe half a point for the packaging, that looks pretty nifty


The idea is good, but please, for your own health and safety:
Avoid avoid avoid avoid avoid avoid avoid!

Hello, hello, hello... What do we have here then?

So today I got my order of American crap from The Stateside Candy Co.
There's a fair few things in here, so keep an eye out for upcoming reviews ;)

-Danny